Today is a great day. Our treacherous Vice President Joice Mujuru has been fired and now the ruling party can get on with the fixing the economy and creating jobs. Mujuru for too long has been the impediment to Zanu PF’s noble attempts to take Zimbabwe forward. Mujuru is believed to be guilty for causing inflation in 2008, she is fingered in recent factory closures and is even believed to be behind the lack of rain fall in rural Tsholotsho.
We saw what Zanu PF can achieve without the Mujuru faction at the just-ended congress. The ruling party demonstrated how it can power forward in infrastructural development as it single handedly proceeded to build roads and erect street lights in the dusty vlei once known as Freedom Square. There were even street signs! Just imagine what could happen if the ruling party initiated such projects in government and began to tar roads and fix street lights in the country’s cities. It would be nothing short of an infrastructural revolution! The township of Highfields is bidding to host the next congress so that they too can benefit from functioning roads and ample lighting. Mujuru must be kicking herself now!
Zanu PF also demonstrated what a post-Mujuru party would look like as they turned the congress into Zanu PF Fashion Week, a huge potential tourist attraction. At the Zanu PF Fashion Week factional fighting became fashion fighting as delegates attempted to outdo each other with the most patriotic heels, miniskirts, suits and caps. Fashion came first and policy second as the party faithful tried to tell Joice to ‘stop it’ through textiles in so many ways. Even if Joice had come she would have come a distant third in the fashion contest behind the comrade in the shiny green Bob-patch suit and the large Women’s League veteran with the ‘Stop It Joice’ miniskirt. With such pizzazz Zanu PF showed in one go how it would revive the flailing Zimbabwean textile industry and introduce a new tourist attraction. We heard the coup plotter Joice tried to disrupt congress by making sure that delegates were served lunch four hours late but our cadres are used to hunger and they braved her machinations!
Now that Joice and her treacherous cabal of ministers have been fired our President can finally appoint those who have real economic vision. Jonathan Moyo makes journalists and newspapers bend to his whims so surely he can force the economy to tow the government line. Saviour Kasukwere as former minister of Indigenisation could force companies to hand over 51% of what they owned. All we need is 51% of our economy working. Surely Saviour can do that. Joseph Chinotimba is so outspoken he can give the economy a good telling off. Oppah Muchinguri can take the economy on a ‘Meet the People Tour’ so that the economy can understand what problems ordinary Zimbabweans are facing. And Comrade Mnangagwa has Gukurahundi and Willowgate in his pocket so he makes the economy quake in its boots. So yes, comrades, now that the simple girl from Dotito is gone we have the prime candidates to force the economy to be patriotic and do as it’s told. Mujuru is gone. Long live the economy!
We saw what Zanu PF can achieve without the Mujuru faction at the just-ended congress. The ruling party demonstrated how it can power forward in infrastructural development as it single handedly proceeded to build roads and erect street lights in the dusty vlei once known as Freedom Square. There were even street signs! Just imagine what could happen if the ruling party initiated such projects in government and began to tar roads and fix street lights in the country’s cities. It would be nothing short of an infrastructural revolution! The township of Highfields is bidding to host the next congress so that they too can benefit from functioning roads and ample lighting. Mujuru must be kicking herself now!
Zanu PF also demonstrated what a post-Mujuru party would look like as they turned the congress into Zanu PF Fashion Week, a huge potential tourist attraction. At the Zanu PF Fashion Week factional fighting became fashion fighting as delegates attempted to outdo each other with the most patriotic heels, miniskirts, suits and caps. Fashion came first and policy second as the party faithful tried to tell Joice to ‘stop it’ through textiles in so many ways. Even if Joice had come she would have come a distant third in the fashion contest behind the comrade in the shiny green Bob-patch suit and the large Women’s League veteran with the ‘Stop It Joice’ miniskirt. With such pizzazz Zanu PF showed in one go how it would revive the flailing Zimbabwean textile industry and introduce a new tourist attraction. We heard the coup plotter Joice tried to disrupt congress by making sure that delegates were served lunch four hours late but our cadres are used to hunger and they braved her machinations!
Now that Joice and her treacherous cabal of ministers have been fired our President can finally appoint those who have real economic vision. Jonathan Moyo makes journalists and newspapers bend to his whims so surely he can force the economy to tow the government line. Saviour Kasukwere as former minister of Indigenisation could force companies to hand over 51% of what they owned. All we need is 51% of our economy working. Surely Saviour can do that. Joseph Chinotimba is so outspoken he can give the economy a good telling off. Oppah Muchinguri can take the economy on a ‘Meet the People Tour’ so that the economy can understand what problems ordinary Zimbabweans are facing. And Comrade Mnangagwa has Gukurahundi and Willowgate in his pocket so he makes the economy quake in its boots. So yes, comrades, now that the simple girl from Dotito is gone we have the prime candidates to force the economy to be patriotic and do as it’s told. Mujuru is gone. Long live the economy!